Come Visit me at www.whyboysfail.com
I'm going to be guest blogging there for a week while my esteemed colleague Richard Whitmire, who runs www.whyboysfail.com does a stint as a guest blogger himself. Of course, I'll be shamelessly promoting my book over there, too.
posted by Peg at 2:30 PM
8 Comments:
Let me start by saying "thank you so much"! I have encountered some problems with my teenage son and I knew there was more than the medication route. I appreciate the discussion and the willingness to sound the alarm about this situation. I look forward to reading your book.
I find this so interesting. I had to remove my son from his first preschool because the teachers kept complaining that he was "too hyper". When I sat in to see what was going on, I discovered that they expected the children to sit for at least 20 minutes by themselves and quietly read a book, they also were expected to wait quietly in line for the other children to use the bathroom before they could take their turn which took up to ten minutes, they also had to sit during circle time for up to 15 minutes while the teacher read them a book and talked about the days "lesson". He was only 3! When I would pick him up after the 3 hours of preschool he would act like a caged animal running around the playground. I found another program which incorporated gym class and swim lessons. He did much better. I am very nervous about what is going to happen when he goes to kindergarten next year. I know he will not be able to sit as long as many of the other children - especially the girls. I find it interesting that school systems consider high energy boys such a problem. They don't even try to adapt their teaching methods to help them learn. Image if the same approach was taken for kids with disabilities.
As a 20+ year teacher, I could have told you this was going to happen! When we are told to teach curriculum "girl friendly" what do we expect!!! The "old way" of teaching, was geared for the male brain...this "new age" teaching is for the female brain, thus raising scores for girls, allowing them to be far more successful in school and giving them the encouragement they have desperately wanted in Math and Science, especially. It is only a matter of time, with education being the cyclical beast that it is, where by we wise up and begin teaching boys the way they can learn....after all, isn't that the point of education, regardless of the gender!!! We have again missed the boat about the differences in sexes...and there are differences...at least the world should admit that much, and education should acknowledge it! With a minor in Physical Education, I have read numerous studies and seen countless examples of the deteriation of the male child in our educational system. Boys are hands-on learners, for the most part. They love recess and Phys. Ed. class and large muscle movement...it is how they are wired. So trying to shove them into a female learning environment is disasterous! Of course they will fail or lose interest...EVERYTHING is geared to the female learning curve, from curriculum, to classroom rules,to teaching styles, EVERYTHING is focused on how girls learn best. However, there is an answer to this problem, and it is NOT MEDICATION! Don't even get me started on that issue...only in very severe cases should it even be considered. Our boys need to be more physically active!! Throw out the video games, hours upon hours of sitting in front of a computer screen or tv screen is disasterous for boys! They need to be moving! So many studies have proven this and reinforce this thought....it works!! I have seen it with my own eyes, in my own classroom, and with my own sons! We need to teach to boys the way they can learn best...get them outside involved in the discovery process of learning. Make learning an adventure in the classroom and allow boys to move around and make choices about their learning. Confidence is huge with a boy. Make sure they get lots of honest praise, affirmation, and successful experiences. They need to be challenged, in many areas, but not catered to...that is not what boys want. They want to be successful in there own right and they do know the difference.
This is easy just teach boys like they are boys. They need 30 min. of free play a day to "run their sillies out". Boys are naturally more active and need to get the extra energy out so they can concentrate. I think having boys and girls taught in seperate classes is a great idea and have them learn according to how they are naturally. THe school system is overwhemingly taught by women and geared toward how women learn. There should be statewide plans to hire more male teachers and stop acting like there is some medical reason why boys are struggling
the problem is not the kids, the problem is the teachers and parents. teachers are too lazy now, all kids learn at different paces. i have 3 kids that have all graduated from high school. but they all had different personalities that made the learn in different ways, the teachers and parents need to realize that. my second son was put on a drug that made him lethargic and not my son, so we took him off that and worked with him, and he came out just fine. i think we all try to fix every thing that is hard to do with "medication" because its easy and takes no effort.
As a mother of three completely different boys, I find myself overwhelmed sometimes by the energy that they posess! For our family it has been important to teach respect for others. As a social worker I have witnessed a moral collapse of sorts. How can we expect our boys to be able to function in the classroom if mom & dad allow them to surf on the internet and care for themselves for hours on end. There can be no relationship without an actual conversation. We need to stop trying to be our children's friends and be their parents once again.
How do you convince a school that what it happening at their school is wrong? I agree at some point all children have to learn to follow the "rules". However, this should not be done at the expense of a childs' well being or spirit. My son has only been in K for 2 1/2 weeks and I am already being pushed to have him evaluated. Some of his behavior certainly needs to be curtailed, but, making a little boy feel bad and defeated because he wants to play spiderman or robot lasers is just wrong. I am disheartened at the responses I have gotten from his teacher and principal when I suggested that maybe the expectation of perfect children was too much. I was recently asked to pick up my 5 yr old from school because he and another child had made physical contact while playing together. Really!! They were chasing each other and collided. My son was punished because the other boy cried and my son did not. I am not kidding, that was what I was told. Obviously it was my child that was the aggressor. I am tired of being asked to think up ways to humiliate my kid. To curb his enthusiasm, to make him stop being a little boy. When I say that my son is a sweet, sensitive, bright and active boy I am not just saying that because I am his Mom. Before K I have never had any "abnormal" behavior problems with my son. I have been blessed to be a SAHM his whole life and I think I would have noticed if he turned into an aggresive, mean spirited child. All I can do is to watch, stay involved in his school and be his advocate. Until the way our children are taught has been addressed.
I am glad I found this blog. My son, who is almost 12 and in middle school was recently threatened with suspension by the school VP for throwing another kid's backpack. He didn't steal it, just threw it. Kid was upset and I talked to my son about apologizing to this other kid for doing this and telling him he won't do it again. But suspension? I told the VP, if you suspend my son, I will get an attorney involve and file a complaint against the district. This zero tolerance policy has gone way too far! I know of a lot of other parents at this school who have had similar problems with the school staff and administrators. One called the police because one of the boys in her class was being "disruptive".
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